by Katie Lacz, Mev Puleo House, Raleigh 06. Originally published on her blog as part of her #Write31Days series.
I wrote this prayer as part of a unit of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) I participated in as a hospital chaplain in 2012. The original prayer I wrote, which I loved and (ironically) thought was just perfect, I somehow did not save properly and was lost. This was my second attempt.
I give thanks that you are not a god from whose forehead
I spring forth fully formed, like Athena,
armed and ready to conquer the world with a clarion cry.
Instead, your spirit hovers over the waters of my unformed self.
Separate my light and my darkness, but name them both, and say that it is good.
Make me an ongoing act of your creation.
Breathe into me your life-giving Spirit.
Keep me aware that you are moving in my cracks and my rough edges,
sending out tiny shoots of your green grace growing
so imperceptibly I think I must be imagining it.
Remind me that I am not imagining it.
Awaken in me the awareness that I am a piece of your Becoming.
When I feel flawed and broken and mundane, not nearly enough,
Keep me wide-eyed with wonder that I, yes I, may co-create with You.
In that wonder let me stretch out my tendrils to reach
the living water of human connection,
the bright sunlight of loving arms and laughing eyes.
And God, when I do not have the words for how I feel weak and wounded
and unworthy to be yours,
Whisper to me again,
“I love you.
I called you.
You are mine.”